Showing posts with label Responsibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Responsibility. Show all posts

Monday, October 19, 2009

Come Correct or Stay Home or go Elsewhere...

but not to Morehouse College. The Historically Black College has banned urban gear from students on campus. No not NorthFace jackets, I'm talking about grills (fronts), saggy/baggy pants that expose underwear, and a concise list of other fashion backward stylings that our children think is cool to wear. Frankly, I agree, not because I despise the way our children present themselves at times, but this is Morehouse. If they institute a uniform policy, students would have to conform or go elsewhere. This is nothing new or unheard of. The uproar over what is worn on "free" time is irrelevant as well, especially if that free time is spent in any campus building or on campus grounds. One might think that this "culture" would not have even invaded the hallowed halls of such a historically rich college, but they obviously have. What you decide ully so.to wear when you graduate, or as you enter the corporate world IS your business, what you wear on the same ground that Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. walked on is Morehouse's business, and rightf

Friday, May 29, 2009

Cop(White) on Cop(Black) Shooting is no surprise



Tradgedy? Accident? Unintended consequence? None, not one of these words can or ever will comfort the family of Omar Edwards. It doesn't matter that the details (likely to be formulated in a lawyer's office) are not out yet. The end result is the same. In my view it would be the same level of shock, if it were any other race of officer, and even if the deceased wasn't law enforcement. The facts to date sppeak volumes to the value of an African-American's life on the streets of NY. Omar Edwards was shot by a pursuing officer without provocation. Mr. Edwards never fired a shot. The pursuing officer may have thought he was saving a citizen when he fired the first two shots. He likely thought, "hey, I'm doing my job". As he fired the next two shots he likely thought to himself, "this dirtbag doesn't deserve to live". Then the euphoria hit, as he thought about the speech he would give as he accepted the key to the city from the mayor. He thought about how much "trauma" time he could squeeze out of this "incident". Now his thoughts rest on saving his job, his career, his respect in his community. Whether he knows it or not, all of those things are gone, they were actually gone before he pulled the trigger, the shooting just brings it all to the surface so that everyone knows. It doesn't matter how many Black friends he has, his thought was not that Omar might be family to one of them. We can all guess how the story will go...There will be some BS story about how Omar didn't obey commands, or about how he turned and leveled his firearm at the pursuing officer (the way he would be trained to do by the way). In the end, there will be another, and another, and another....what needs to change is not the number of Blacks in prison or on drugs. What needs to change is not how many young black men will see prison walls before they have the opportunity to see university walls. What needs to change is how THEY (and sometimes WE) VIEW US. This is a view that transcends fishing trips with your Black friends, attending the wedding of a Black co-worker, or even dating a Black person. None of these things change INHERENT racial bias steeped in history and sub-consciously taught in schools, in homes, and even in our houses of worship. The meat of this issue is that it really is a learned behavior, the disdain for another race, it is as taught as naming animals and colors. The best part about the new generation with their baggy clothes and technology savvy, is that they see less color than we do. The worst thing is that their parents will break them of that color-blind trust.


Click here for full story.

I try not to edit posts once they are up, but exception becomes the rule when I get angry. Those who know me, truly know me, also know that it takes a lot to get me riled.

The following developments have transpired since my original post:

Don Lemon of CNN interviewed a former DC police officer with regard to the case. The interviewee immediately began defending the racial component of the story, (without being asked), and went so far as to say what Omar Edwards probably did wrong. He added insult to injury as he emphatically stated that the officer who shot Edwards did identify himself. This is significant because to date, the shooter has given no official statement. NYPD is in full damage control mode. Click HERE to see transcript of Don Lemon interview with CNN Security Analyst Mike Brooks. He also makes the allegation that the pursuing officer shot only after Omar Edwards turned toward him. This lie is significant because today the medical examiner released the fact that Officer Edwards was shot in the back, and that the bullet went through to his chest. All news reports, including a video conference by Commisioner Ray Kelly have reported that Officer Edwards was struck in the chest. Those are the developments so far, I allow you to make your own jdgement...but you already know what I think.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I Never Promised...

you I wouldn't take a hard look at what we do wrong too...

Jon Stewart hits the nail on the head by pointing out the morality of DC Mayor Marion Barry. see the video here:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Gaywatch - Marion Barry
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisPolitical Humor

Friday, April 3, 2009

How to minimize the truth, without too much effort...


The biggest story on Staten Island, receiving suddenly less 'airtime' is the incident that occurred on the campus of Wagner College. The college has offered a reward for naming the individuals that racially vandalized posters and drew a noose around the neck of a fellow student, but what about the future? How is that going to preempt and prevent another incident? Now I'm not privy to the goings on at Wagner, but it is an institution of 'higher' learning, and as such a certain level of civility and mutual respect is expected. So how did this outrageous transgression fall so quickly from the headlines? Well, our Island is now abuzz about a cell tower that was installed months ago. Once again, crimes against people of color take a back seat (not even funny), to the fears of a few. The vandalism is the smaller part of this story, the meat of the story lies in racial division among the student populace. I realize that these few 'bad seeds' do not speak to the state of race relations across the entire student body, but that doesn't make their behavior any less egregious. While the tolerant portion of the student body sleeps, the intolerant portion is hard at work, gathering resources, injecting their twisted views into conversations and lesson answers, and growing. Not unlike the adult community surrounding the college (all neighborhoods). When we "just let it go" we empower those that hate us to gain support and strength for their cause. We all share a very small corner of this planet, without bridges and boats, we really would be 'in this together'. When will we begin to show the haters that their brand of protest is not wanted on OUR island?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Profile Posting Guidelines



Folks we are not putting our best foot forward. Our online profiles are more than just the who, what, when, where, and how. They are often either an invitation to get to know us better, an advertisement for networking opportunities, or the most popular, a means of selling (not literally) ourselves to the members of the opposite sex (not me, I'm taken).

That said I feel its justified in saying WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I get that it is your favorite picture, right after you got a new outfit and a fresh hairstyle...but you took the picture in your messy room....with the clothes on the floor!? I understand the bathroom is the only place for private picture taking in the mirror, but some soft scrub and a little tidying up can go a long way. I get that you are leaning on some strangers Mercedes or BMW, but what are you going to say when they ask you to 'pick them up'? I know that they are your best friend since grammar school, but a boogah-bear is a boogah-bear, and you are likely to scare someone off just lookin at your ugly friend. Now I am by no means advocating not being yourself. If by all means you are a slob with ugly friends, then so be it. But most online profiles offer the opportunity to meet new people, to open new avenues of commerce, or to find a new mate. Just be sure that what you are selling, people actually want to buy. For the young ladies out there...what you show, is what they want...if you are half-naked, that is what they will expect when they meet you...learn ladies, sexy is not naked, they are not the same..a little class will net you the right friends.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Training prepared her for the inevitable

CANDICE CLARK: 'I'm comfortable in my skills.....I have a wonderful support system'
Sunday, March 22, 2009
By STEPHANNIA F. CLEATON
STATEN ISLAND ADVANCE
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- Candice Clark prepared herself for the inevitable. With the economy shrinking and positions being eliminated at her company, she made sure she received the latest training skills in her field and kept in touch with her sphere of influence.

"The writing was on the wall. After two years with my last company, they decided to downsize the department. A lot of the work that we did was outsourced," said Ms. Clark, a computer software specialist.

She was laid off in December. "I'm still in contact with quite a few people there. And, they are still doing layoffs."

With 20 years worth of experience in the telecommunications industry, the Graniteville resident is confident she is marketable.

"I know a lot of people who work for other companies and I just put my resume back out there. I also know a lot of headhunters. I made sure I got a lot of training for the future, and I made sure my bills and mortgage were caught up," she said.

Ms. Clark felt comfortable enough in her skills to take some time off before job-hunting to work as a volunteer last month during the special City Council race on Staten Island. She filed for unemployment benefits for the first time last month.

"I know that God will make a way and I'm comfortable in my skills. My boyfriend is very supportive and I just know that I will be OK. I have a wonderful support system, if I ever had to lean on them -- but so far, I'm OK. I have a savings," she said.

Recently, a company called Ms. Clark for independent contract work.

"Hopefully, I won't be on unemployment long because, quite honestly, it doesn't pay the mortgage," she said.

Employers with a job offer for Ms. Clark are invited to e-mail Stephannia F. Cleaton at cleaton@siadvance.com.

courtesy Staten Island Advance/SILive.com

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I'll do Anything for You...

now that I have embarrassed myself, embarrassed you, possibly ruined my career, and brought to light an illicit May/December affair I've been having (or had, kinda doesn't matter at this point)

I didn't want to do it, but there has been so much pressure. Besides everybody is getting in on it, why not me too? I mean Oprah, Joy Behar, Denise Brown, heck they even dredged up Robin Givens from somewhere...so why not me? What because I'm a man, does that automatically make me the enemy? Maybe I'm just a spectator, or I'm reformed.. you know; rehabilitated. Maybe I'm a facilitator, or worse an excuse maker and enabler. Nah none of those things...I have remained quiet to give this thing enough time to let nature take its course...well I didn't have to wait long (that's where the title comes from; you know the song from Denroy Morgan - I'll do anything for you, I'll give the world to you, if you want me to.

Rhianna and Chris Brown - seems like he's willing to do anything, rather suddenly too... fire his manager/lover? no problem!....spend some hideaway time at P. Diddy's house? sure! I'd bet he would bend over backwards right about now. And as he does whatever she wants, the immaturity of their years shines through. He gets his lawyers to work behind the scenes trying to get her to drop charges. Typical...and sad.

I didn't weigh in until now because I wanted to see how they would act, in public, apart or together. I have to say that the timetable did surprise me. I certainly didn't expect him to apologize and beg forgiveness so soon, and I certainly didn't believe she would so readily take him back. Now I'm not about to sit here and lecture anyone about the ills of hand to hand combat in a relationship, nor am I going to debate who hit who first or if it is appropriate to over-defend yourself against the onslaught of a woman scorned. What I will talk about as it relates to this drama is the role of a male friend to Chris Brown...people like P. Diddy, Jay Z, or any number of people that genuinely call him friend. You see I feel it is the man-friend's place to help him out. Not necessarily to scold or lecture...more to encourage and enlighten. The only corrective measure that is known to work for abuse is self-enlightenment and a word we love to say in church repentance.

See repentance means more than saying I'm sorry, more than making it up to the offended party, and more than moving on from the past. Repentance requires a shift in your way of thinking about a particular subject or behavior. Repentance does not come from the outside in, it must come from deep within the heart of the offender. It must be born, not of necessity or fear, but of genuine love and concern. If Chris Brown is sent to jail, he might not repent...If Jay Z pops a cap in his ass, he may not repent...If Rhianna sues him, he may not repent. Chris Brown is the one who has to convince Chris Brown that what he did was wrong, and that no matter what the issue or problem, violence solves nothing. As has already been proven, it just makes matters worse. This lesson is not confined to affairs of the heart, it is a lesson that can be applied across a broad spectrum of issues we face every day. As children of a very wise God, we all enjoy the gift of free will. As citizens of the United States we enjoy practically limitless freedom to do whatever er like. There is and always has been only one stipulation...

"we always have to be willing to accept the consequences of our decisions and actions."

Sunday, March 15, 2009

American Violet - based on a true story

If you haven't heard that title yet or if you haven't seen the trailers...get ready! This will literally turn your stomach. To think that this sort of thing happens in a so-called civilized society, within the same legal system we all depend on to keep us safe from the criminal element...its simply outrageous.

In short, American Violet is a movie based on the real life situation that faced a single mother in a small town in Texas. Her name, along with 26 others was given to police by an informant facing charges himself. All but one (allegedly, there was a single white defendant, but to date, his/her name has not been made public)of the defendants named were black. I would love to tell the story, but watch the trailer for a better depiction of what happened in the year 2000. Come back after you've viewed the trailer....I promise you there is more. See - http://americanviolet.com/

Truly a sad way to provide entertainment. I watched the trailer and became intrigued when the trailer mentioned that it was based on a true story. After some hunting I came across the story upon which it is based. Hear the story from the people who lived it and continue to live it today - (click on Chapter 2 the entire story is there) See - http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/plea/view/

That this could take place, and these people, people like District Attorney John Paschall is STILL the District Attorney in Hearne Texas. The end result, a lawsuit won by the young woman who held her ground and the other 14 defendants that did not plea might seem as though some measure of justice had been met. But those that plead guilty, and even some that were released continue to suffer the consequences of that fateful day.

This happened, this is recent, its not the first time (research shows a similar incident in a neighboring town involving 45 defendants from a period just prior to the 2000 arrests and nothing is preventing this from happening again. The laws may have been addressed but the laws were never the problem... Here is yet another situation where we need to educate ourselves and know enough of the law to stand on the side of right until you prevail. Never admit to anything you haven't done, always remember the police are allowed to lie in order to obtain a conviction, and you can never go home if you tell their version of the truth.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

School Vouchers; Good idea or Accountability Escape

The debate has obviously not ended... Roland Martin, of who I am a huge fan, is wrong on this one. In his recent commentary posted to his CNN blog, he chides the president for not giving some the opportunity to send their kids to a private school the way the president does. He references the new spending bill which effectively kills the voucher program for Washington schools.

Now before I go on, of course I believe that every child is entitled to the best education they can receive, and that if it is a public school education, that it should be just as valuable as private schools. That said, to say that the only way to get a good education is in private school is wrong. To say that private school education, simply by virtue of being privately funded is always superior to public school education is equally wrong. Lastly to say that it is impossible to receive a quality public school education is equally wrong. Mr. Martin does NOT say these things, he implies them, and through ignorance most believe them. The truth is none are true and all are true.

There are so many factors that make up the education of a child, that can go so far as to make the learning institution irrelevant. A child that wants to learn, can learn under adverse conditions, and sometimes due to those conditions be better prepared than a more 'coddled' child. My personal issue with private school is that it is, before anything else, a business. Businesses have a single driver-make money. The education business does not do well if students fail, so in my opinion, that becomes a hidden factor in the assessment of each student.

I believe that having a private school voucher program opens the door to many issues. Even if by the fairest lottery, the system of distribution is inherently unfair. There will be some student or family, truly deserving, that will be disappointed. By effectively stating to our public school system that no matter how well they perform, they will still never be better than private school is a travesty. It not only calls the system a failure, but it gives no encouragement nor incentive to better itself. The problems with public schools has been the same since I was in school - bureaucracy. The red tape, the layers upon layers of administration. The rules, the unions, and all the other things that simply get in the way of opening the mind of a child to the world.

Take the money intended for vouchers, I know its not much,and put into the public school system. And as you do that, hold our teachers and administrators to a higher standard, call them to the importance of the task at hand. Everyone, regardless of whatever school they attended remembers the one teacher that made learning interesting or fun. That teacher had no special gift, the talent he/she used is called caring. That where it starts. President Obama is right on track...get rid of vouchers, give merit pay to top performers. Hold the schools accountable for doing the job we hired them to do. You would not be happy with your roofer if he got the job 50% done....and gave up on the rest.

link to Roland Martin Commentary - http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/11/martin.vouchers/index.html

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Q: When is a bias attack, NOT a bias attack?

A: When the racial component is NOT the original reason for the attack.

But that doesn't make it ok! On Sunday morning in Roosevelt, a 52 year old black man was attacked , allegedly for loiteing in front of a grocery store. During the attack, the n-word was used and the victim was told to go back to Africa. What makes this attack more significant is that one of the assailants is an off duty NYPD officer. Now, I'm aware of how the law works with regard to classifying bias attacks, but for me the larger question is with regard to the presence of an officer of the law. Someone with a sworn duty to uphold the law, not only NOT stopping the assualt, but being an active participant as well.

Oddly the assailants stated they attacked him because they believed he was loitering and panhandling in front of the store...I guess he wont have to beg anymore pretty soon...maybe next time they'll just call a cop....oh wait...yeah.


see - http://www.1010wins.com/AUDIO--NYPD-Cop-Charged-in-Alleged-Bias-Attack/3984995

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

'Hanging' email joke leaves Community Education Council member hung out to dry.

Sal Ballarino stepped down today at the insistence of the Borough President amid controversy surrounding an insensitive email he distributed to friends and colleagues. The facts are clear, this man was clueless as to legal requirements for public systems as well as lacking in judgement. His callous atitude toward the affair underscores the racial insensitivity of many Staten Island residents. Racial issues persist on Staten Island, some highlighted by the election of Barack Obama. On election night, a group of teens set out to pay back black people for electing Obama, they assaulted two people and ran over a third. While all will see justice to some degree, it does nothing to address the issue. There is no push for dialogue. There is no push for sensitivity training in our schools. There is no push for taking the steps necessary to prevent issues like the titled one from occurring again and again.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Girl Who SILENCED THE WORLD at the UN for 6 MINUTES



This video was posted by a facebook friend. It deserves the time it takes to view it. Please share the video and your resources with oyhers.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

We just HAVE TO do better

I know you may have heard that before, how we as a people have to get it together and not only do what is right for ourselves but uplift each other as a people. On Sunday, in Detroit, a mother was arrested for hosting a sex party in her own home, but that's not the worst...there was an undercover sting and three men were arrested for helping host the party....not yet....there was an armed doorman.....still more......there were 19 prostitutes working in the house at the time of the raid....BUT the worst part of this already tragic story is that the 16 year-old daughter of the woman, and her 16 year-old friend were not only at the party but were dancing nude for men! When did....How could....(speechless)



We just HAVE TO do better, not just for ourselves but for each other too. The woman's neighbors knew she was having a hard time, but only had harsh words for her after the incident. If only one, just one, had offered some help, some encouragement, some counsel.....just one.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Florida Teen Commits Preventable Online Suicide

A young man, in his prime, took his own life with a webcam running as logged on users typed away. NONE called for help till 10 hours later. This is a somber reminder that as we pass each other on the roads to our various destinations, we never really know what is going on in each others life. Take the time to talk to one another. Pass a stranger and smile (not freakishly of course). A kind word can go a long way. I know many of you have seen this story before, but I think this event is a good time to revisit it. Remeber your words have power. The power to hurt AND the power to heal. God Bless you all, God loves you, and so do I. The story...



One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon),so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable. "I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The days after....

The sun began peeking through the blinds. I felt the heat on my face and began to stir. I barely slept a wink, I had to see the election results and listen to the commentary. I felt tired, too tired to work, I’ll take today off. This was the new day in America that we have prayed for; this was the first day of the new chapter in history for our country and just as importantly for OUR people. Surely the people had celebrated themselves to giddiness, and they were sleeping in or too tired to do anything. I decided to dedicate my day to reviewing the new America. I got in my car and began driving, not really knowing where I would go. The sun seemed a little brighter this morning. I need gas so I pulled into a station, but gas was still over $3 a gallon. I guess that will take time...change is coming … I bought a cup of coffee at $1.50…Yeah that will go down soon…change is coming.

I looked around my neighborhood, and to my dismay…things looked much the same as they had been yesterday. Maybe the historic events of the previous night have not taken root yet. Is it possible that there are still people apathetic to the significance of THIS election? Ok, let’s wait to see what happens later. I decided to give it a little time.

In Afghanistan, another soldier lost his life…nothing changed there yet…In Iraq, another life given in defense of …well of an ideal…no changes yet. Domestically, people were murdered, robbed, and beaten today as with any other day in the life of this great country. Hmmm…I guess this may take longer than I thought. I kept looking around, day after day, waiting patiently for change to happen. It never did. I wondered what is wrong with YOU people? Why won’t you …just…just …. CHANGE? I found myself getting more and more disappointed as each day passed. Disappointment became sadness, sadness turned to indifference, and indifference became anger. In a fury now, I began to curse the day I was filled with hope for a better tomorrow.

As I prepared for another angry angst filled day, I went to the bathroom to prepare for the day. There I found the source of my issues; the problem had been there from since that Election Day. The problem had been staring me in the face all along. The change I was looking for was not to come from some dynamic figure or history making event. The change had to start with me. I had to change. I had to do what I hadn’t done before… I had to do what I wouldn’t do…. I had to take personal initiative and start the change ball rolling. The change was to come from each of us…all of us…doing just a few things, just a little bit differently. Things that contribute, rather than take away….things that build up rather than tear down. I’ve always had the answer…we’ve always had the answer. It has always been, and still is up to us as individuals to institute the change we seek in our lives.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Immorality Finds a Home on the Internet

That doesn't sound like anything new. With the prevalence of pornography, online predators, all manner of thievery that takes place online, what more could possibly be added... Well thanks to a new website, you can arrange a liason with someone you are interested in...but that's not new either, what is new is that this new site is SPECIFICALLY for married people who want to find a discreet 'hook-up'. It touts no strings attached. In this time of an ignored AIDS epidemic and encroachments to the validity of what constitutes a consecrated union, we cannot allow further erosion of our values. If you stood on the altar, then you need to stay away from the website. I don't want to errantly entice any further business their way, so I wont mention the name here (those who WANT to find it , WILL). Honor your spouse, honor your vows, honor your God.

SI Advance Wedding Photos

Almost 5 years now since I married the most beautiful woman in the world... Yeah we did the fairytale wedding, the limos, the Old Bermuda Inn, and hired a wedding planner, professional photographer , and videographer. This is nothing new to some people, and over the top to others. Bottom line we spent more than we intended, but were more than satisfied with the results. That said, what is with the title of this piece? When we were married we were the only Black couple presented in the Advance. Random checks of late have produced similar results. The point? why don't we post our happiest days moment more often. Don't get me wrong, its not an easy process, there are a few hoops and specific deadlines that have to be met, but it is not impossible. I hear the detractors already....why does it matter? It matters because the advance is read in many households on Staten Island, households with children...When the children see black faces in cuffs, and white faces in wedding photos, it sends a message. It is obviously not a pretty message. Admittedly, I don't know of many recent Black marriages, but there must have been some. I encourage every wedding party, regardless of size, location, and level of expense; take the time to make an effort to submit your photos and bios to the Advance. Not to promote the newspaper, but to let our children know that we still find love in the midst of the storm.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Jeff Harrell of the Staten Island Notebook recently 'called out' the father of Darren Rivera, the young man who was recently arrested at IS 49 for bringing a gun to school. His straightforward language and lambasting is a lesson to all fathers that let their children languish without guidance. Read the enitire story here:
http://blog.silive.com/sinotebook/2008/07/father_knows_squat.html

But go beyond reading, take this opportunity to call or go see a child that needs you. Whether you are a biological father, a weekend father, a some-of-the-time father, a never father, or an always father. Let your child know today that you are there for them, and show them what it is to be a man. Ladies give him a break, let him be in his child's life...you can continue to not like the way you were treated and even not like him. But it is my hope that for the sake of the children you can find a nuetral location where he can be the father he needs to be in his child(ren)'s life.